Silent Princess

Breaking the Silence

Falling In-Love Like Never Before

Posted By on June 28, 2006

Remember the feeling of having your first Crush?..Your first infatuation?…Your first Love?…and Your True Love? Beyond all of that is the feeling of having a child. No exact words can really describe it. A love so, so much deeper. I thank God for giving me this wonderful opportunity of being a mother. It’s really amazing how God designed us women to bear children and to have this great affection towards them – making us so selfless.

It reminded me of the movie “Darkwater”. A horror movie?? (you’re wondering why hehehe) Well, besides from being scary it does have a lesson in relation to my post today. Actually, my father-in-law was the one who told us the lesson from that movie after we watched it. It was the sacrifice of a mother’s life just to let her child live. Now, that I’m a mother I can truly say that I am willing to give to my baby everything even my last breath.

It’s true what they say that when you become a mom you will enjoy shopping not for yourself anymore but for your dear baby. Shopping for me now is a lot of fun coz it’s always for Kasumi. One time, I remember I planned to shop for myself since I always shopped for Kasumi, but guess what? I ended up going home with kasumi’s stuffs and nothing for me. hehehe

“Isusubo ko na’t lahat ibibigay ko pa sa inyo”“kung pwede nga lang ultimong kagat ng lamok ako na lang makaranas ““Pag nasasaktan ang anak doble ang sakit na nararamdaman ng nanay”“Magiging nanay rin kayo at maiintindihan nyo” Yepyep “Ina” I now understand. Yes, those are words from my dear mother; we call her “Ina”- My loving mother who showered us with so much love unconditionally. I am so blessed to have a mother like her. A “Super Nanay” indeed. I pray that I will become a mother like her.

Being a mom is not really easy but it is the most challenging, fulfilling and rewarding experience a woman can have. The joy it brings is incomparable amidst the difficulties and responsibilities. Right now, I’m a hands-on mom. I had to give up my job to take care of our baby. No regrets, really. The best decision, ever. I thank God for answering my prayers. You see, resigning from work after giving birth to our child was not really planned. We had a hard time finding a “yaya”. But the real desire of my heart was really to take care of our baby by myself even when I was still pregnant. I prayed for that especially when my maternity leave was nearly over. God answered it by not giving us a yaya (heheh) and gave me a job at home instead. Yes, I’m doing a freelance job now and this friend of mine in the US gave me also a “raket” there where she was working. Thank God and thanks to you “seksi” (that’s zetli my friend). Although, we have a yaya now I still do much of the things for Kasumi like taking her a bath, preparing her to bed, and playing with her.

The yaya only assists me and sometimes takes care of Kasumi if I really have to rush some work. I just can’t really fully let her under the care of her yaya. I still choose to work ‘til dawn so I can still play with her during the day. I remember during the 2 weeks turn-over after I gave my resignation at work, I was so anxious about how would the temporary yaya would take care of Kasumi. I had been so restless at work. I couldn’t concentrate on finishing some work. All I did was to look at the webcam of Kasumi and the temporary yaya. Yes, we set up a webcam at home so I could still see Kasumi even if I was at work.(sshhh..the yaya didn’t know..hehehe) My officemates would tell me “grabe, over protective”, all I could say was “syempre”. Then this one officemate of mine told me “lam mo kase pag nanay ka feeling mo ikaw lang makakapag-alaga ng mabuti sa baby mo, kase talagang ingat na ingat ka sa baby mo eh” ..And it struck me. (oo nga noh!? Kaya pla!)

When you’re a mom you easily freak out and worry a lot about your baby. From the moment I conceived Kasumi I worried a lot. From how she’s been there inside my belly up to those “will-be-jerks” who will break my baby’s heart.(wahhh!) I just wish that my hubby’s goatee is enough to scare them (hehehe). But I learned to trust everything to God. I already entrusted her life to God so I won’t worry that much especially for her future. Pains will be part of her life and there’s nothing I can do about it even if I become “Wonder Woman” or “Darna”. Heartaches will mold her to the kind of person she should be. I just pray that she will always trust God for everything and that she will be brave and strong enough to get up every time she’ll fall. That she’ll be ready to admit her mistakes, to learn from it and inspire others. As for me, I will always be here for her no matter what and there’s nothing she can do to take away my love for her.

Every moment with Kasumi is heaven. Her smile and giggles are the sunshine that brightens up my day. Her laughs and baby talks are the music in my ears. Her pains are my greatest pains. Her cries make my heart bleed. Her kisses are the sweetest chocolates in my lips. She is my strength. She is my inspiration to be a better person. She is the every reason why I smile even when my sky is gray. I wanna hold her, kiss her, and hug her every second of the day. She makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time(hehehe). My world revolves around her.

Each morning I wake up looking forward to her beaming smile. You see, Kasumi is such an adorable, lovable, sweet (hay ano pa ba? nanay, na nanay na tlga ako hehehe) baby coz every time she wakes up she would give me her sweet sparkling smile as if telling me “mommy, everything will be great today” and I would smile back at her as if telling her “Kasumi, everything had been great from the moment you were born”.I also love it every time she would stare at me as if telling me “mommy, I adore you, I love you” all I could do was to look back at her as if telling her “Kasumi, in my eyes you are the most beautiful being in the world, you’ll never know how much I adore and love you”.

It was also a great feeling whenever others would carry her and she would look at me as if telling me
“mommy please save me from this stranger”
or “mommy, just stay near me, please don’t leave me”. It makes my heart melt knowing that I am like a hero for her, that she knows that with me nothing bad will ever happen to her. Haayy, babies are really God’s gift.

Maybe some of you will wonder how about my love for hubby? Nothing’s changed. Our love is the foundation of this immense love for Kasumi.

The essence of being a woman is being a good mother, a good daughter, a good sister and a good friend to everyone.”
Precious Lara Quigaman
Miss International 2005

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4 Responses to “Falling In-Love Like Never Before”

  1. silentprincess says:

    hello tata! yeah, ibang klase tlga ang feeling pag mommy ka na..
    Im so happy for you and your cutie baby! such a cute family..;)

    breastmilk ang milk nitong tabachingching n baby nato..hehehe

    Thanks and God Bless!

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